How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
