All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
