I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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