I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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