is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
