a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
