the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
