So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
