i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
