is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
