how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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