So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
