I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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