She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
