Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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