i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
