I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
