Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
