The maid of honor just puked.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
