shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
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You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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