I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
