did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i think i just lost a toe
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
