Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he thought i was a dude.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
