OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
