Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
