i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
