It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
