It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
