Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
