tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
