try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
