I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
