I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
