i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
