I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
