yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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