She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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