Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
