I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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