I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
