I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
