Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
