Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
