I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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