I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
