If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i came on her dog
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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