you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
