Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
