clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
