I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
