Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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