i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
