My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
