oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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