so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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