But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
