I want to have your abortion
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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