Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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