"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
