i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
