I can tuck mytits in my pants
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
