did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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