I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
