So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
