Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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