I'm going to jail i love you
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
These tits shall not be calmed
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