honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
How's work?
Spinning.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
