I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize