I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
