But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
