all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
