he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
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