Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
