This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
